5 Points to help stop the daily grind, grinding you down.

I know that most people already know this and we probably all have our own ways of dealing with it. Work and daily life can sometimes suck and the negative behaviours that you will encounter each day will drag you down with them. I have noticed change within myself over the years and have also even changed my attitude toward life and people numerous times (and it will happen more over the years).

I have decided to post this today to only jog the mind of people and myself to hopefully get positive thinking and a healthier mindset back out into the public domain, some of my ideas won’t be for everyone and some people will completely disagree with my thoughts but here goes.

1. Opinions

I have found over the years that as time goes on, I have been getting more and more negative and less patient. I put this down to the thoughts and experiences that I have each day (I have a mind that is constantly running, be it good or bad) and how I react to them. I have found as I get older and the more I learn, the more I notice the effect that people’s opinions have on others, whether they be right or wrong. For example: I was having a talk to someone the other day about what I’m currently doing for nutrition when someone (Google warrior) butted in and added their two cents worth, including that what I was doing was wrong and “full of shit”. As you could imagine, straight away I felt compelled to negotiate with this person and explain that what I was doing is currently working for me so it’s not so bad after all, however this was a waist of breath as opinions are opinions and we very rarely can change them. As you can imagine this left a sour and negative vibe in the room with me somewhat annoyed and even angry. I use this as an example because I wanted to express how a simple conversation can change people’s mood if they don’t have the mindset to deal with it. I felt my knowledge and experiences was enough to convey my opinion in a matter that it would be able to be discussed in a mature way but it turned out to me somewhat defending myself and doubting myself for discussing it in the first place. It wasn’t till later in the afternoon that I noticed how much I let it get to me, when in hindsight I should have simple stated your opinion is your opinion and moved on.

Feel free to express yourself and start discussions but be aware that other people have their own ideas and whether its right or wrong you know in your heart what’s better for you so stay tight to your feelings and don’t let the negative change the way you are. Obviously, there are times where you are wrong and when a professional is telling you something that they are completely experienced, its best to listen and learn. This is mostly directed towards the people that have opinions as opposed to hard facts and the internet warriors that have read one point of view, relate to it and decide it’s true and factual for everyone. Which brings me onto my next point...

2. The Internet Warrior

Time and time again I hear people talking about that they have learnt something new from the net and everyone should listen to them because they are now a master at it. This can be anything from how to plant a tree, how to train and even what the best surgery is for someone with back pain. Social media, Google and YouTube are the usual suspects behind this and it’s become the norm for if it’s on the net it must be correct. The reason this is part of the daily grind is due to social media and its power of changing people’s minds, what they believe in and how things work.

Do yourself a favour and ask a professional and find out what works for you, try different advice and whatever makes you feel the best, learn from it and keep moving forward. This can take time so don’t be discouraged when it doesn’t go right the first time.

Let those that want to express what they have learnt off the net do so and even give it a crack if you believe it to be right but, don’t let their one-sided searching be your answer. If you’re going to use the net to learn, find out about all the information provided on the subject but don’t project your findings as a professional as you could potentially do more harm than good.

3. Work

When I was younger I would shrug stuff off negative criticism easier and not have a second thought of it, these days everything seems to make me think and I analyse every detail of the comment. Most people would think it is great to stop and think but I believe this is a major reason of why I have been getting more negative as time goes on. When I was younger if I had made a mistake and been pulled up for it, more than often I would apologise and not do it again whilst thinking to myself “oops, I stuffed up but its ok it’s not bad enough to get the sack and if it is I’ll just go work somewhere else because if I get the sack now I have a long time to get experience elsewhere”. These days if in the same situation I think “Ah f*ck!! I’ve stuffed up, I should be more experienced and know not to do that, I hope they’re not angry or disappointed with me, I can’t afford to lose this job, I have bills and a family to support and too old to find a job that pays this well”. Then I will stress on it for ages and it will play on my mind for ages. This is only a basic scenario but you can see how my mindset has change over the years. Yes it may be a little more “grown up” but this way of thinking has a much larger impact on a healthy mind. I’m not suggesting dropping responsibilities and not care about your job but what I am saying is maybe change the thought process. You could still have all these thoughts as a grown up but to ease the mind maybe a better process is to get those thoughts out to the people that have affected you, talk to them and ask them questions that could help relax the mind. For example: I’m sorry, what can I do better, how bad is this and will it affect my performance. Express your feeling and let them know that this is effecting you and how. This goes onto my next point, communication.

4. Communication

Communication can solve a lot of problems but you need to be willing to express them. I have seen too often people’s reactions to different situations but never expressing how they are feeling or how they are being affected by what’s happening. How many times have you seen someone get yelled at and just stand there, take it and then leave feeling miserable? Do you ever think to yourself, just stand up to them and yell back or tell that person to back off? If so, you have probably at least one time been in this position. These days it takes a lot for someone to verbally abuse me and get me down and the reason for that is because I’ve been the person that has been yelled at and done nothing but these days I don’t let that be the case. Instead I stand up for myself, express my feelings and let people know that there is a better way to communicate with me. I have also been the yeller and to be honest I sometimes still get caught up in the moment and yell but, I’m a lot better at noticing my flaws and wrong doing and quick to admit my mistakes while hoping I can mend the wounds I just created. You often hear people say that someone is thick skinned but I often think to myself, are they thick skinned or do they push it down low to later exploded into a fit of rage and let it all out at once. People process things in different ways and every single person has feeling, it’s just how much someone can take before these feelings are shown. For me it comes down to wearing your heart on your sleeve, let people know how they are affecting you, what they can do to help you but at the same time don’t be so negative on yourself that you continually produce negative feelings and thoughts towards others.

5. Work on the Mind

If you have gained anything from reading this post I hope the major thing is that you work on your mind and self-positivity. You usually can push your feeling towards those around you, if your sad you will usually want to block people out, if your angry you will be abrasive and if your overly happy people around you will feel that too. Be the lead, try to be positive and think of those around you and in turn you’ll hopefully make yourself feel better at the same time. Take the time to breath, enjoy the natural life and look over the positive experiences you have had in life and reset your happiness. Surround yourself with the people that make you feel good and support you, while helping those that don’t understand that your mind health is the most important to you. Try not to get stuck behind a screen for hours and look around you and see what else is going on in the world. Talk to people and try to be engaging. My wife often thinks I’m weird because I like to start up conversations with random people but for me each person has a different story and I like engaging with people to see what their like. I like being weird and I don’t mind people laughing at me, if you know me well enough you would of experienced me doing something weird or stupid at one point. I do this because I find when I let myself go and do something that creates a laugh, it makes me feel that I’m bettering the situation and bringing laughter and happiness to those around me. If anything after all it makes me feel better and I’ll have a healthier mind for it.

The take away –

Look after yourself and how you make others feel. You have one life, so try to make it the best you can. Do this by learning, being positive, communicating and experiencing new things. Get outside, love life and have fun.